As Far As I Could Get

I went to the woods to run back home.

I went to the stones to so I could lay a weight on my heart that held it in place with comfort rather than crushing it with rules.

I went to the trees to tell me the old, ancient questions
No more easy answers, no more easy answers, my soul pleads.

I went to the moss to feels it's velvet comfort my mother's heart.

I went to the streaming waters to remember the oldest songs, to have them get stuck in my head again
to drown out the modern hymns.

I went to the sunlight so I could see myself as I truly am.

I went to the animals, so that I could have friends who expected me to be kind, compassionate, and loving, but not correct.

When I lost you I went back to the last version of me I could remember
the one who pressed her face deeply into the open bodies of the fragrant flowers
feeling their plush petals against her flesh
and inhaled.
Daring to hope
but not to know.