I chipped at each brick with the raw weight of my tears until the wall had turned to dust, and I stood in an open beach with no path, no plan,
just baptized ashes swirling at my feet
and my now dry eyes
wanting to see more
and my now parched throat
wanting to taste more.
So I did the next thing I knew to do
and it was to cry, bleed, and sweat
and the hope
I wanted to bring
to the open wound at the center
of this world
drips blood in time with our own heartbreak
(so you must know then,
it never stops bleeding).
I plunged that sanguine depth
and found the diamond
I lost at sea
when the teachers told me
to throw myself away
I forget what it was
because it never came to pass.
the things we've lost in those waves-
even the things we thought we never had
because we were told they weren't ours to hold-
have a way of floating back
into arms fatigued
from trying to survive in the waters of life.
I whisper with a smile and trepidation
to the small stone
cradled just beneath the water
glimmering with life and expectation
as it shivers in my hands.
"It's so lovely to be near you again."