Tuesday, June 5, 2012

What I Want From My Brothers

from the nakedpastor

I want my brothers to stop saying, when I bring up how the so-called biblical limitations make me feel, "It's scripture." I want a conversation about Scripture, not a conversation-stopper.

I want my brothers to stop saying, when I bring up the limitations women face, "Men can't give birth. Men can't be mothers." Childbirth and motherhood are beautiful parts of femininity. But role limitation that is caused by biology is not the same as role limitation that is caused by theology.

I want my brothers to enter my world for a moment, to understand what it's like to hear, "Women don't struggle with lust, pornography, masturbation."

To understand what it's like to hear, "You should stay beautiful so your husband doesn't cheat on you."

To understand what it's like to be told that I won't enjoy sex as much as men, but that my body is so intensely sexual that I must be overly-fastidious about how it's covered.

I want my brothers to understand what it's like to hear, "You'd be a great pastor if you weren't a woman."

Likewise, I want my brothers to imagine what it would be like to hear, "You are perfectly qualified, but you can't because you're a man."

I want my brothers to understand that "feminist" is not the same as "man-hater."

I want my brothers to understand that this issue isn't a rights issue, it is a theological one.

I want my brothers to understand that I am asking for the opportunity for my gifted sisters to serve in the role of priest, bishop, deacon. This isn't about power. This is about gifted women being able to serve God to the best of their abilities. The old line that women are told, "Those who demand to be priests aren't suitable to be priests," is true. But I'm not demanding anything. I'm asking for a re-evaluation. I'm asking for my view to be considered. I'm asking my brothers to entertain the possibility that complementarianism might be theologically incorrect.

I want my brothers to know that I am perfectly willing to entertain the notion that complementarianism is correct and that I am wrong. I just haven't been convinced yet.

I want my brothers to understand that women have been systemically marginalized for centuries, something men, as a group, have not faced.

I want my brothers to allow me to explore the hard questions without telling me I'm on a slippery-slope.

I want my brothers to understand that questioning traditional gender roles isn't the same as questioning the Gospel or the inspiration of Scripture.

I want my brothers to understand that I don't want them to change their position just because it makes me feel bad, but because they're convinced.

But I want my brothers to understand that the emotions and intuition of a redeemed person can be as valid an indicator of orthodoxy as reason. Let's pair them together.

I want my brothers to understand that I know that some of them understand some or all of these things (even if they disagree with my conclusions).

I want my brothers to understand that I don't think they're misogynists if they disagree with egalitarianism.

I want my brothers to understand I say all this from a place of love and respect for men, for the importance of fatherhood, brotherhood, husbandhood.

I want my sisters who disagree with me on these issues to consider these things as well.

And I want my brothers to know that I want women to enter their world of struggles as well. I'm sure a man could write a loving, thoughtful post entitled, "What I Want From My Sisters." But this post is about women, because I'm a woman, and this is the world I know to write about. The world I want my brothers to understand.

7 comments:

  1. Thank you for telling us this. It's so important to hear.

    You've got it from me, sister.

    Blessings.

    http://togodpraiseandglory.wordpress.com/

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  2. Oh I liked this. What a graceful way of explaining it. And I LOVE the picture you put up. That is exactly it!!!

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  3. Wow I love this! You brought up a lot of good points. ^_^

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  4. Found you on Rachel's blog post...I couldn't agree more as I explore the world of life without gender roles...having moved from complementarism to mutuality only these last 12 months. I blog about these issues as well...and how I think the gender roles have a lot to do with the domestic abuse epidemic that is raging even in our churches...http://www.practicejoy.info/2011/10/earthquakes-bubbles-cont.html

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  5. FWIW, some of your brothers totally get this. Be blessed. Be free. Be yourself. Not everyone will get that. Trust me, I know.

    Lord, wake your family up!!!!!

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  6. Love this! Luckily, I married one of the men who "gets it," but he is definitely in the minority. Great post.

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